This is one of the funniest things I've heard....



I swiped this from... boringsonya I still need to learn how to make a link, some day.

Anyway take a listen to this... you have to have your speakers up to understand the guy, he's laughing so hard... I was rolling with tears.

pfffft can't copy and paste with blogger? I have much to learn.

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

Hey I made that a link, gotta be an easier way though... enjoy the humor.

Fantasy life in real life... can the two exist?

Typing this with the smell of my wife's pussy still on my fingers, I'll share about last night. Trying to make a secret fantasy life mix in with real life.

After some heavy petting and sensual kissing my mind was wandering from scene to scene of what I wanted to do next... should I slide down her body kissing softly as I go pulling her thong off as I went, so when I got to her pussy, that I know is soaked from me fingering her, it would be exposed to my tongue to enjoy.... or would it be better to reach in to the drawer pull out the vibe and tease her pussy with the pleasure of the vibration on her clit until she begs me to fuck her.... Should I tie her arms and her legs, then trace her body with soft touches of my fingers until she is so turned on that the touch of skin any place will cause goose bumps for her... maybe tonight would be a good night to be a little rough while she's tied, pinching her nipples while looking in her eyes, pulling on them stretching them until they slide out of my fingers, perhaps straddling her and while she's tied, lifting her head and sliding my cock in to her mouth, feeling the control over her that she has given me gladly. All this running through my head of the next move....

What I chose to do... and I assume if you don't wanna know you've moved on by now :P .... what I chose to do was raise her arms above her head as she lay on her back, I am on top of her... my hard cock pressing against her pelvis just above her clit... holding one hand above her head with one of mine... I begin to tease the underside of her arm with soft continuous touches, from the palms of her hand down her wrist, her fore arm, along the underside of her bicep to her underarm.... this is one of the most sensual spots for me (and her) I love to tease this area, her breathing quicking as she fight to keep control.... down lower I know her nipple is reacting to the play of her under arm, it's hard poking out and will soon be teased in itself... my fingers running over her freshly shaved area.... my fingernails scraping softly... going to the soft area just below the swell of her breast, then going back over the skin of her underarm again.... finally leaving her with some mercy from the tickling sensation... moving down her side and scraping my fingernails over her tit, teasing the skin, avoiding the nipple area, kissing her with passion as I play... moving down her side now... her pelvis is pushing up against my cock, she's rocking it back and forth... I know the base of my cock is just barely touching her clit, just enough to move the skin as she moves under me, but not enough to give her full pleasure... again I enjoy this control, my fingers move back up to her nipple now and with a soft gentle pull I let her feel just a small amount of pleasure, before moving on..... trading arms now.... both arms are now "trapped" by my right hand above her head and I begin the pursuit of teasing the left side of her body... across the wrist, forearm, under her bicep until I reach her underarm... taking my time again, the difference this time... is she is moving hard against my cock, her legs are now open more, feet on the mattress, pushing herself up in to me... I tease her underarm tickling her, no longer does she fight to keep control, but instead she is breathing hard against my kisses, her body not in denial of the pleasure we share. Down her side below her breast, teasing the skin as I go down her side, to her hip, to her ass I let my hand slide around until I feel her thong, now pulled tight against her pussy lips.... slipping a finger under the fabric, I am not surprise to find that she is soaked, her pussy lips swollen... the exact effect I was looking for.... I begin kissing her neck.... down her chest.... moving my hands back to both breast I begin to lightly lick one then the other... on my knees between her legs I can feel the coolness of my precum on my skin... and know she can feel the same on her pelvis... kissing down her stomach, my fingers now pulling on her nipples, stretching them.... she makes no effort to move her hands from above her head... still "trapped" as she surrenders her body to me. My fingers hook her thong on her hips and she lifts her ass for me to slide them off, her legs bending as the fabric crosses her thighs her knees close as I slide them off her, she watches as I put the black fabric to my nose and inhale the smell of her pussy....mmmmmmm I lift her hips pull her to me some, her hands above her head against the head board of the bed.... I run my cock through her pussy lips, she grinds back against me, moving her hips up and down with my motion, sliding over her swollen clit, then through her slit, until the pressure of my cock slides in to her opening, only to then pull it back through her slit and over her clit again... our eyes leave each other as I look down and watch my cock in my hand, slide back through her lips... disappear in to her pussy and come out again wet with her juice..... mmmm I love to see her pussy lips wrapped around my cock, soaked with her juice, the sound of my cock moving in and out through her lips leaves no doubt as to how wet she is now.... I look back in her eyes once again... and slide my hands to her hips, my cock pushing forward entering her pussy, one motion, deep, no resistance, until my pelvis is pushed against her lips... I hold it there for just a few seconds.... she doesn't wait and begins rocking her hips with my cock buried deep in her.... my hands holding her ass cheeks, on my knees I begin to slowly fuck her, the noise from her juice is erotic with each movement, we fuck like this for a time, watching each other, one hand holding her ass, the other teasing her stomach with my fingers, her arms above her head, I love to see her like this, her tits moving slightly with each thrust of my cock, the feel of her legs wrapped around my ass, her heels pulling me close, my finger now teasing first one nipple then the other, I watch my cock sliding in and out, soaked, I can feel the coolness of the air on my balls.... sliding one hand lower on her ass.... I can feel the juice from her pussy now running through her ass crack, and I tease her little ass hole with my finger on the outside....mmmmmm I bend forward.... by cock buried in her, her hips folding with my movement, my thighs spreading against the back of hers, my hands sliding up her body, almost roughly as I move over her tits, scraping her nipples from the tips of my fingers, the palm of my hands pulling on the skin until they pop free, going up her arms and to her hands, lifting them as if I am releasing them she wraps them around my head and back, kissing me as we fuck each other, her pushing in to me, my cock sliding in and out of here the quietness of the room offers the sounds of our movement and the moans of our kiss, until we are both on the verge of exploding, slowing making it last, pushing in deep and grinding my pelvis on her clit, she rocks back and forth, my pubic hair roughly on her clit, my cock deep inside of her as she explodes around my cock, which is the moment I've been waiting for and begin to fuck her deep and long, my release coming on the edge of hers, shuddering as I cum inside of her pussy.....mmmmmm collapsing on her, her legs straightening and near cramping from being bent, we kiss and I gently stroke in and out of her until I'm spent and slide out, rolling her on top of me, pulling the vibe from the drawer now, she repositions her pussy on top of my softening cock and from behind, we hear the familiar sound of the vibrator as I slide it through her slit down through her until it's on her clit, the tip touching the base of my cock ..... and she slowly begins sliding her pussy up and down allowing herself to know control her next orgasm, with her head buried in my chest, from the pleasure of the vibe.

My reality.... your fantasy!

mmmmmmmmmmmm


One of the ladies at work brought in some made from scratch cinnamon rolls this morning. Still warm and about the size of small dish. mmmmmm covered in thick cream cheese icing with the bottom baked to a crisp with brown sugar and cinnamon..... I slowly open it up, my fingers parting the folds, the smell is incredible, seeing the cream start to drip down inside from the warmth... melting...my mouth begins to water with anticipation of the taste on my tongue.... I then notice my finger is now covered in the cream and I move it toward my mouth to taste it for the first time, my eyes close as my finger moves inside my mouth, my lips close around it, a moan escapes from my throat as the cream melts on my tongue.... mmmmmm Its more than I can stand now, my lips part and I move closer to nibble on the outside, the sweetness only teases my taste buds, I want more.... I can feel the cream on my lips now as well as just a dab on my nose.... that makes me smile. I take my time, savoring the taste, feeling the warmth, time and time again my mouth goes back for more knowing that the center is all gooey and holds the true reason of eating it from the outside in. I part it again, separating it even deeper, each time getting closer to the middle.... my mouth waters with anticipation of the lick of cream each time. I move back a little, letting the flavor linger on my tongue a little longer mmmmmm another low moan escapes my lips as I smile at the pleasure of the moment. The desire to continue, but not wanting to go to fast, my mouth waters even more for the next taste.... and I indulge it! Letting my tongue go out one more time to lick the cream that is now on my lips, once again licking it off my fingers as it runs down the inside of one. One last time I again separate the folds, my mouth once again is filled with the creams sweet taste, the smell fills my nostrils as I look at the now exposed center... the cream runs down the sides, the once flower that protected is gone and the center exposed to my gaze, again my mouth waters, my fingers reach out to trap it and I pull it slowly toward my mouth, my eyes close and the tip of my tongue taste the pleasure that I've patiently sought after.... there is nothing like warmth of center bite, my lips close around it trapping it in my mouth as my tongue swirls around it, the taste is heavenly, I know at that moment the bliss of the creamy middle as I finish it off...my taste buds expoding with the warmth of passion... my tongue slides out one more time to lick the left over cream from my lips mmmmm one last moan and shy smile appears on my face. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Rounding out the final 50 of 100 things of me.

51. I love to flirt
52. One of these days flirting is going to get me in trouble.
53. I'll deal with it then if it happens.
54. I prefer warm weather
55. And love going to the beach
56. Bikinis aren't the only reason, but it ranks up there.
57. I find a woman's stomach erotic.
58. Especially if they have a bellybutton ring.
59. The first pussy I ever touched, I was in the 8th grade.
60. I've been addicted since then.
61. I prefer a woman trimmed neatly, but of course enjoy any state of "grooming".
62. I've had 3 way phone sex before.
63. More than once with the same two women.
64. One was a sub, the other enjoyed controlling her.
65. They often would get off together.
66. I didn't mind that one bit.
67. I also did a 4 way call once.
68. And once was enough, I didn't enjoy that at all.
69. I love to "spy" on my wife... when she's in the shower.
70. I know she's heard me a few times, but not sure she knows that I do it.
71. I love thongs, not on me, but seeing them on women.
72. I'm just a country boy at heart.
73. The city does nothing for me.
74. I just enjoy the simple life... life rushes by to fast as it is.
75. I once watched a couple making out
76. I was on a path overlooking a cliff, they were under a rock... they hand no clue I could see them.
77. I stroked off to that vision a number of times.
78. I love to take myself to the point of exploding, then stretch my balls.
79. Then bring myself close again.
80. ok getting writer's block now... I'll use the ol stand byes
81. I'm tall 6'3" 205 lbs
82. Brown hair, blue eyes
83. I've never had sex with any kind of animal... isn't that comforting to know. =P (can you tell I'm really getting stuck)
84. Once when wife and I were dating, we were messing around in her parents house, and her Dad came home unexpectedly.
85. I found one of my socks on the hallway floor...oops!
86. I once snuck in to her parents house about 1:00 in the morning, made it to her bedroom.
87. Her Mom woke up and came in to her room, I slipped under her bed.
88. Her Mom didn't go back to bed until about 3:00... I snuck back out about 4:00 (foolishness)
89. First time I ever gave her an orgasm, was following prom.
90. In her parents living room.
91. I was licking her pussy.
92. I was addicted after that.
93. I think she was too.
94. 1st time I used a vibe on my wife is one of my favorite memories.
95. She was all giggles and what are you doings.
96. It made her so sensitive, she didn't want to orgasm using it.
97. I wouldn't let her go until she did.
98. She was addicted after that.
99. So was I.
100. I am glad this is over finally.... hope you enjoyed.

OK my shot at 100 things about me... probably not going to get to 100 in this post, but I'll eventually get there.

1. If you met me on the street, you would never guess I am so deeply involved in sexual fun.
2. I've had phone sex with various women for over 5 years now.
3. Almost always at my work, at lunch time.
4. Occasionally after 5
5. The janitor has walked in on me twice, the janitor is a female.
6. I've never cheated on my wife in real life.
7. I never will.
8. I've been approached by 5 different women to have sex with them.
9. One was a good friends of ours.
10. She confessed to my wife she had fantasies about being with me.
11. We are still friends to this day.
12. I still think I could approach her and she would be with me in a heart beat.
13. Another is a woman I work with currently
14. I love sports in general
15. Basketball is one of my passions in life
16. I used to play on a consistent basis 4 times a week.
17. I no longer play because of bad back.
18. I now coach a high school team.
19. And love it!
20. I also love to build.
21. I've bought and remodeled 3 homes.
22. I've designed and built 3 homes.
23. The first home I built, I about killed myself.
24. Ended up in the hospital, I almost had a nervous breakdown from exhaustion.
25. That was over 10 years ago... it still effects me today.
26. Another effect on me, no one knows about, I miss my Dad.
27. He died almost 3 years ago.
28. Of a heart attack while leaving a restaurant.
29. Two days earlier he had visited his heart specialist.... said he was good for another 10 years.
30. I appreciate him more and more every day it seems.
31. I've never had sex with anyone other than my wife.
32. I've never regretted that either.
33. We have talked about and fantasized about doing that.
34. That talk leads to some awesome sex.
35. We've done some light bondage.
36. I have a couple of awesome stories that involved bondage... and fantasies involving others.
37. I enjoy watching bdsm videos... thats a major turn-on.
38. I enjoy being in "control" during sex.
39. But only if the woman wants to be "controlled".
40. I enjoy giving pleasure, more than I enjoy getting pleasure.
41. I love to make a woman orgasm with my tongue.
42. I think that is very erotic.
43. I like pushing the limit.
44. To get one more orgasm.
45. But know when to stop.
46. I'm a breast man.
47. I prefer smaller breast, with dark nipples.
48. I try to check out women when I'm out... to see if there nipples are hard.
49. Drives me nuts to see that.
50. Give me natural any day... silcone/fake breast do nothing for me.

OK that's it for now... I'll get the other 50 on a later post. =P

Dreams.... Isn't it funny some things you dream about?

I'm like most men, it's pretty common to have a dream about some sexual act and be awaken with a stiff hard-on only to try and go back to sleep to get back in the dream and see what happens. Then from time to time... lucky enough to stay asleep and get to "reap" the benefits of knowing what happens... only to then awake have to clean up the sheets. ;-)

Last night I had a dream that I wish I could have gone back to sleep with... and this is crazy, but the woman involved is a blogger that I've been checking out her blog every couple of days. I've never spoke with her, though wonder what her voice is like. Her HNT pic last week I think is what did it... sexy pose....mmmmm

Anyhow the dream .... she was in the shower and I was watching her through the glass, you know how dreams are.... I could see her, but she couldn't see me. I watched as she washed her blonde hair, dark from being wet, her head tipped back her arms bent as she moved her hands through it.... her breast jiggling with her movement, this is such a turn on for me.... the water washing the bubbly soap out of her hair running down over her face, her neck down over her chest, dripping off her nipples down her stomach and on down her legs, disappearing down he drain. Again I watched as she tips her head back, fingers running through her hair... breast again exposed to my view. My cock is hard and leaking precum as I stroke it, standing outside the shower just enjoying the view. I must have been stroking in by sleep, it was too real not to have been.

Then the sudden dream change... she's not in the shower any longer, but know in a tub full of bubbles... her head is resting against the back of the tub, eyes closed, she doesn't know I'm watching her... you can see her hands moving across her nipples, pinching them with the suds, then sliding down her stomach, her legs part and and knees raise as she lifts herself up. I have a clear view of her fingers moving over her pussy, bald, lips glistening from being wet with water and her pussy juice. My cock feels good as I stroke and watch, the feeling of wanting to explode, but wanting to deny myself that pleasure so the feeling last. I know I'm dreaming, how can she not know I'm in here watching her fuck her pussy with her fingers?

The dream shifts again... now it she that is watching me... and I didn't even notice the change, she's standing in the bathroom of a house I lived in two houses ago. She's watching as I stroke my cock, when I open my eyes and am startled with embarrassment, she just smiles and asks me to continue.... she's covered in soap suds, her hair is wet, she is naked, holding a towel, smiling while watching me stroke, her hair falling down the front of her face, one eye peaking through it, with a devilish grin of pleasure.... and I freakin wake up at 3:58 in the morning... NOOOOOOOOOOO my mind screams...My cock is hard and I desperately want to go back to sleep! But to no avail much to my disappointment! But I can remember laying there seeing her face clearly wondering where in the world that came from?.... dreams.... gotta love em!

I think I'm gonna compile one of the 100 list things about me, maybe break it down in a couple of post as time permits.

In the mean time, can you figure out who the woman was in the dream? =P